https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/ Tue, 16 Jun 2026 21:57:50 +0000 MyBB https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-171.html Mon, 15 Jun 2026 21:03:21 +0000 kuponut]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-171.html Watching life coming and going
Like holding hands through the telephone lines
I wonder if you can still hear me sometimes?

Some days it seems I'm swimming
Ebbing and Flowing, never quite knowing
If it's you looking down from the surface
Or if I still look like the same person?

A memory so real, it tears you apart
A melody so sweet, it becomes part of who you are
All through the static, all through the years
All I can do
Is turn them to tears

Some days it seems I'm falling
I lie to myself about the speed and distance
What words survive won't make the difference
As they come crashing through the stratosphere

Some days it seems I'm drowning
It gets darker the deeper I sink
Black, not like night, like the space between stars
Even if I wanted to I couldn't follow my bubbles to where you are

A memory so real, it tears you apart
A melody so sweet, it becomes part of who you are
All through the static, all through the years
All I can do
Is turn them to tears]]> Watching life coming and going
Like holding hands through the telephone lines
I wonder if you can still hear me sometimes?

Some days it seems I'm swimming
Ebbing and Flowing, never quite knowing
If it's you looking down from the surface
Or if I still look like the same person?

A memory so real, it tears you apart
A melody so sweet, it becomes part of who you are
All through the static, all through the years
All I can do
Is turn them to tears

Some days it seems I'm falling
I lie to myself about the speed and distance
What words survive won't make the difference
As they come crashing through the stratosphere

Some days it seems I'm drowning
It gets darker the deeper I sink
Black, not like night, like the space between stars
Even if I wanted to I couldn't follow my bubbles to where you are

A memory so real, it tears you apart
A melody so sweet, it becomes part of who you are
All through the static, all through the years
All I can do
Is turn them to tears]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-169.html Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:33:14 +0000 kuponut]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-169.html When all the colors fade
When all my words turn to ash
I can't bring the fire back

I sleep a dreamless sleep
Slowly rise up to my feet
To greet the gray skies
That rise to meet my eyes

When you tell me
"You are okay
You are enough
You are okay
You are enough"
It's strange how much these words can change us
If not right now, then another day
You'll be okay
You are enough
You'll be okay
You are enough
"I needed to hear you say that,
Looking back I've
Been so many things I never wanted to be"

It feels like I had no choice
But to be a voiceless noise
Feeling sorry myself
I traded an honest soul
For the lies I couldn't sell
A heart to heavy to hold
I struggle to maintain
Bound by this gentle refrain

"You are okay,
You are enough
You are okay,
You are enough"
It's strange how much these words can change us
If not right now, then another day
"You'll be okay,
You are enough
You'll be okay,
You are enough"
I don't think I believe that now
Looking back I've
Been so many things I never wanted to be
I don't think I believe that now
Looking back I've
Been so many things I never thought I could be

But I can fake it through the day]]> When all the colors fade
When all my words turn to ash
I can't bring the fire back

I sleep a dreamless sleep
Slowly rise up to my feet
To greet the gray skies
That rise to meet my eyes

When you tell me
"You are okay
You are enough
You are okay
You are enough"
It's strange how much these words can change us
If not right now, then another day
You'll be okay
You are enough
You'll be okay
You are enough
"I needed to hear you say that,
Looking back I've
Been so many things I never wanted to be"

It feels like I had no choice
But to be a voiceless noise
Feeling sorry myself
I traded an honest soul
For the lies I couldn't sell
A heart to heavy to hold
I struggle to maintain
Bound by this gentle refrain

"You are okay,
You are enough
You are okay,
You are enough"
It's strange how much these words can change us
If not right now, then another day
"You'll be okay,
You are enough
You'll be okay,
You are enough"
I don't think I believe that now
Looking back I've
Been so many things I never wanted to be
I don't think I believe that now
Looking back I've
Been so many things I never thought I could be

But I can fake it through the day]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-168.html Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:23:39 +0000 kuponut]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-168.html Like what I sound like when I'm not so sure but I want to sound certain
And how I tell myself it's nothing like lying
Because I mean so well

And what a poisoned romance tastes like
When I realize
I'm not over the people I thought I was over

The only thing you learned
Was when to walk away
Because you learned things the hard way
You're better this way

And would you believe I changed?
If we met again today?
Would you want to hear the things I learned the hard way?

There were a lot of lessons I learned the hard way

Like what happens to your best friend
When they rear end
A car parked on the highway
And what happens to a car
When it spins out of control
And wraps itself around a telephone pole

Or what happens when you watch
Someone wither and die
All from the inside

And hope drains from her eyes
And you were right beside her
When she realized
All her life was behind her

I don't believe I've changed
6 years now to the day
I'm a little more bitter and fracking up all the same
But I want you to think I've changed
So if we met again today
You wouldn't walk away
And maybe we could learn some things the hard way]]> Like what I sound like when I'm not so sure but I want to sound certain
And how I tell myself it's nothing like lying
Because I mean so well

And what a poisoned romance tastes like
When I realize
I'm not over the people I thought I was over

The only thing you learned
Was when to walk away
Because you learned things the hard way
You're better this way

And would you believe I changed?
If we met again today?
Would you want to hear the things I learned the hard way?

There were a lot of lessons I learned the hard way

Like what happens to your best friend
When they rear end
A car parked on the highway
And what happens to a car
When it spins out of control
And wraps itself around a telephone pole

Or what happens when you watch
Someone wither and die
All from the inside

And hope drains from her eyes
And you were right beside her
When she realized
All her life was behind her

I don't believe I've changed
6 years now to the day
I'm a little more bitter and fracking up all the same
But I want you to think I've changed
So if we met again today
You wouldn't walk away
And maybe we could learn some things the hard way]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-167.html Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:08:57 +0000 kuponut]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-167.html Like a bad itch
I don't know the future's better
But it just has to be
So sit still and weather
Our homemade catastrophe

We've all had bad means of coping
I just need you to keep on hoping

So if you think
It's only you at stake
Remember my face
When you say
That you
Have been
Using
Again

I wonder who you are sometimes
When I'm not around
Or what's running through your mind
With your head up in the clouds

And is this thing you're chasing
Worth erasing
The footprints we put between
Now and when we found each other
Broken beyond belief

So if you think it's only you that breaks
Remember the way
That I beg
When you say
That you
Have been
Using
Again]]> Like a bad itch
I don't know the future's better
But it just has to be
So sit still and weather
Our homemade catastrophe

We've all had bad means of coping
I just need you to keep on hoping

So if you think
It's only you at stake
Remember my face
When you say
That you
Have been
Using
Again

I wonder who you are sometimes
When I'm not around
Or what's running through your mind
With your head up in the clouds

And is this thing you're chasing
Worth erasing
The footprints we put between
Now and when we found each other
Broken beyond belief

So if you think it's only you that breaks
Remember the way
That I beg
When you say
That you
Have been
Using
Again]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-166.html Mon, 09 Nov 2015 09:51:01 +0000 kuponut]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-166.html ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It calls my name



Day after day



The static calls my name.


        Cold cut to a man in his early to mid 20's staring blankly at an industrial trash compactor in a musty storage room. Its jaws mechanically eat the bit of trash that it has been fed. The man stares hypnotically, as if the mesmerizing gaze of the machine has answers that he has yet been given.

"I mean....it could easily look like an accident."

       The man reaches a hand out and touches the cold steal. The gnashing of the jaws grows louder and louder. 

"Hey...." A faint voice in the distance doesn't reach the man
        
        He lifts his hand from the machine, as if it his hand were burning. He turns from the machine and tears at his hair. 

"Hey..." The voice tries again, a little more assertive this time

        He chances a look back at the machine. Its continued chomping grows louder and louder. His eyes widen, once again mesmerized, he walks toward the machine.

"I bet it would only hurt...for a second or two"

His hand drifts toward the embrace of the cold steel

"HEY!"
______________________________________________________________________


        The man comes to his senses. Standing behind the counter of a convenience store, his familiar surroundings are jarring at first. He looks across the counter to his customer. A girl about a head and a half shorter than he. Pixie cut and blond hair, clearly dyed...poorly with skeletal leggings and a lolita skirt. She's not over the top but she still sticks out like a sore thumb amidst the 2am crowd. 
        "Oh, I'm sorry"
          He was halfway through bagging her 2 energy drinks, a family sized bag of potato chips and a cheap pack of cigarettes when he started to wonder how long he had zoned out for. After all, this wasn't the first time, but his daydreaming was getting worse. 
          Daydreaming. He had to chuckle. Who could give him a hard time for daydreaming when the rest of the world was sleeping?
          "Receipt in the bag alright?" He asked, his fake customer service smile restapled to his face. 
          "That'll be alright". She stood there a moment longer staring him blankly in the face, not reciprocating the smile. In fact, it seemed that this girl's frown was probably the only expression her face had ever known.
          "Don't be so stingy" she said suddenly.
          "I...sorry?" He asked, dumbfounded. Where did that come from?
          "My change?"
          He reopened the register. How long was he away? He shuffled the till for coins, having to open a new roll of pennies to get her exact change out. 
         He handed her a couple of beat up bills and hodgepodge of coins.
         But she didn't look at his hand. Just continued looking at his face. The plastic smile was fading pretty quickly. Clearly it didn't invite a friendly atmosphere.
        "Are you okay?" she interupted the uncomfortable eye contact.
        This was the last thing he expected to hear. These fantasies were personal. Never intended to be read from his tone or expression. Something that, until now, he thought he hid pretty well.
       His hand jerked back at the question, fumbling a few loose coins. She bent to her knees to pick them up. 
       "Look, it's not my business. But it could be if you need it to be." She said monotone. On paper, her words would have sounded genuine and caring. But her voice was dull and dreary. As if she was still going through the motions of a customer service transaction.
       "You don't have to say anything. Just don't do anything stupid alright? I'm sure a lot of people care about you". She took her groceries and change and toward the door.
        "Last chance". She said, looking back.
        "Are you..." He trailed off for a moment searching for the words. 
         The girl's eyebrows perked up. "Am I?"
        The perfect words did not fall out of his mouth. In fact, he was sure that his brain picked at random the worst words he could possibly say and then they fell out of his mouth in that order.
        "Always this weird?"
        
        The uncomfortable silence from before was missed like an old friend. He, however was proven wrong, in that the girl did indeed know another expression than apathy. Apathy was quickly replaced with anger.
        "frack you prick!" She threw one of her canned drinks at him, missing and hitting the display behind him. The drink began to spew a sticky, carbonated mess all over him and the floor. The girl opened the door, cigarette already lit and walking up the road.
       He started toward the custodial closet where the mop lived. The quiet buzzing of the freezers and florecent fixtures overtook the air. 
      "You really know how to make friends, don't you Todd?"
___________________________________________________________________________

     The night droned on. He couldn't stop thinking about that exchange. Come on, Todd. "'Are you always this weird?'. Like you're doing much better than she is. At least she tried. You push anyone away. Friend, family, and apparently complete strangers. Who are you going to have left when all you do pull away?"
     He rested the mop in the corner of the wall. He walked across the room and opened the door to the storage room. He pinched himself, he squeaked at the hint of pain.
    "This time.. it's for real". He locked the door behind him. 
     Todd wondered how well soundproofed the room was. If there was a fire marshall code against having completely soundproofed rooms in commercial buildings. There probably were. He wondered if people would be able to hear him, or if he could keep quiet through the whole procedure. Probably not, death is usually pretty loud 
      "-and let's face it Todd, you could hardly handle pinching yourself. You're gonna bite your tongue all the way to the other side?"
      His heart had weight that he had never noticed. Like a ball and chain. It suddenly felt like someone was gripping his throat, squeezing. He could hardly breathe as unwanted images of his mangled body flashed through his head.
      These images were overpowered by the idea that nobody would care. Nobody would notice that he was gone. The only mark on the world that Todd will make will be a stain on the wall and an obituary in some recyclable paper. His parents will cut out the article and put it in a scrapbook. His ex will drink a glass of wine and think about him for a day to get over it.

"Just fracking do it" repeated a voice in the back of his head.

He flipped the switch.

      The chomping was slow to start, gentle. But if he jumped in now, the process would be more painful. 

       The door handle behind him jiggled furiously. Somebody started pounding on the door.
       "Hello?" A muffled, but familiar voice met Todd's ears. I guess the room isn't soundproof.
        More pounding on the door. The machine grew louder, building up more steam with each passing second.
       "Please let me in, don't do this". Alternating between the door handle and pounding.
       Todd thought of the things he could say...things that would just come out wrong again. 
        The thuds became louder, it sounded like somebody was forcing there entire weight into the door now. 
       "It was 'Todd', right?" A few more thuds to the door. "You have to have something you want to see! Something worth hanging around for!". The words became desperate.
       Todd considered unlocking the door. But what good would that do? After all, he didn't have an answer to any of those questions. Nothing he wanted to see. Nothing worth hanging around for. 
        "God damn it! God damn it!" The thuds stopped. Maybe she reasoned Todd wasn't in there.
        Todd turned away from the commotion outside the door. That absolutely sounded like the girl from earlier. How did she know? How did she know all of this was happening? Were his suicidal thoughts so obviously painted on his expression?
       Curiosity delayed Todd for a few moments.

"Just jump into the compactor...make it easy on yourself"
        
          Todd's intention was just that. One more touch of cold steel was the last thing he intended to feel before oblivion. 

        Something finally overpowered the sound of gnawing metal. Gunshots. Two....Three... The door flung wildly open while the outside door handle had been shot clean off. It was the girl from before. Two archaic revolvers staring him clean in the face. The girl's face was noticeably different from before. The expression had shifted so much that Todd almost didn't believe it was the same girl. 
        "So what, she's going to stop me from killing myself by murdering me?" Todd thought. He would have preferred to die on his terms, but whatever works.
       "Just hurry up and do it" Todd said. 
       "Reveal yourself" she said, guns still raised.
       "I....I'm sorry?" Todd was pretty exposed. Unless she was asking....? "No. No Todd, that's dumb."
       She took another step closer, furrowed brow and piercing eyes. "I won't ask again!"




      Todd's shadow began to spread. Over taking the walls and shrouding both Todd and the girl in darkness. Todd felt a cold sensation emenating from his heart. He felt depressed before. He was hopeless now. This...This was what Todd felt awaited him if he continued living. Emptiness. True emptiness. True static. The static consumed Todd. He laid on the floor.
      A laugh pierced the silence of the room. "That...that doesn't sound human", it was an odd thought to have, but somehow Todd knew it to be true.
     In the distance of the shadows Todd heard gunshots. "She's still here".
     Todd lethargically climbed to his feet and toward the sound. He could faintly make out two figures. One significantly larger, faster, than the other.

     The handled herself with grace. Not wasting a movement or gesture. This was not a fight as he would have envisioned. There were no flips, no gun spinning, no unnecessary taunting or showing off. This was brutal combat between two forces that wanted the other dead. 

      Todd sat and watched. He could only get in the way of the girl, and who's to say that she's really the good guy?
      "She tried to stop you from killing yourself Todd. Whether you wanted her to or not, that should tell you who the good guy is."
       It had been a while since Todd thought about somebody on that level. To think about somebody in a purely positive light. If only for a moment, it felt like the cold radiating from within was being thawed.
       
      The girl took a shot, and winged the dark figure, now fully exposing himself. It looked to be a larger amalgamation of a human. Eyes empty and white. Teeth like needles. It seemed so familiar to Todd. 
      It cried out in pain "You bitch!". The creature didn't spare a moment, dodging additional shots and heading straight for the girl. She dropped a gun to draw a knife from her boot, but was not quick enough. The creature pinned her down. A sinister, satisfactory smiled etched across his face.
      "You're just a babe in the woods, aren't you?" A third, arm-like appendage erupted for the creature's chest forcing its way into the girls chest.
      "I'll take care of you first". And then finish the job with the boy." It let out a laugh again "You'll be together soon, pet".

      Todd snapped into focus. He never had plans of taking anybody else down with him. He ran toward the creature, still pinning down the girl 
      "Hey!" Todd yelled. The creature looked up.
      "Don't worry Todd, I'm just finishing up here. We can meet in the trash compactor in a minute"
      "Let her go, I'll go with you okay?" Todd pleaded. "Just let her go, I don't want my decisions to hurt anyone else....That's why I was doing this to begin with."

     The creature chuckled "Todd, are you still under the impression that you're in control of your own life? That any of this was ever your decision?"
      Todd was confused. Moreso than before.
     "The truth is Todd, you couldn't make a decision for yourself if you tried. That's why I found you. That's why I built up this solution in your head as being the one and only. Because if it was up to you, you would have never done anything for yourself." It sounded so proud. "Look how long it took you to get to this point? You've been eye-fracking that machine for months now, haven't you? Never doing, always dreaming. Dreaming of the static."

The girl let out a scream, she was growing red in the face. Tears streaming down her face. Whatever was happening, she was fighting it, and it hurt.

     "Now do what you've always done Todd. Sit quietly and let this happen so that we can get back to business. I only have three arms to work with." The creature'ss focus shifted back to the girl, who's struggling body was growing limp, red face growing pale.
     
      Todd noticed the revolver at his feet. He had never fired a gun before, and he wasn't sure how a revolver worked. He picked up the gun and walked toward the creature.

      "I'm a little busy now Todd-", the creature looked up at Todd, "-...What do you think you're doing Todd?"
     The girl's eyes were barely open "Do it", she whispered.
      "Todd listen to me!", the creature was begging, "I was doing this for you. I gave you a mission. I gave you closure. I was giving you meaning. Can you really go back to that uncertainty? Can you really go back to that empty life?"
      He squeezed the trigger. The creature's head distorted and he fell to the floor. The girl shot up gasping desperately for air, no marks where the creature was tearing at her.
      As she began to catch her breath she looked up at Todd, still holding the gun. 
      "I'm proud of you Todd", she said, rising to her feet.


       The shadows began to dissolve from the walls, as the creature's corpse did the same. 
       "I really don't understand what just happened", Todd said blankly. 
       "That was a demon. A personal demon.", the girl said, returning to her usual monotone.
       "A personal demon? Where do they come from?" Todd asked.
        "...Personal demon. 'Personal'. Demon. They come from humans. They're bred by insecurities, fears, regrets, sorrow. I've been hunting them for years, and your's has been festering for quite some time I'd guess." The girl spat on the barrel of her gun and helped herself to a spare hanging uniform to clean her gun with. 
        "I....I can't even-", Todd was overwhelmed with information. A lot was coming at him fast.
        "You can't even? You and most of this generation", the girl said, not even looking up from her guns as she spat once again trying to get a smudge out. "I'm Samantha by the way. Nice to meet you Todd."
        "I...oh yeah. Thank you for saving me...how did you know-"
        "Know that you were possessed? When you've been doing this a while, you learn to read the signs." Samantha said plainly, "It's hard to sit idly by when you know that they're out there. Sometimes you can help people just by talking them through these their demons. But other times it gets pretty nasty. They can start to hurt others too, people close to their hosts.".
        Samantha holstered her guns. Not quite satisfied with the job she had done cleaning her guns, but figuring that it had to do. She helped herself to a bag of the chips she bought early that were boxed in bulk in the room.
       "I'll just assume these are on the house. Are we square?" She asked, with a faint smile on her face. The first genuine grin Todd had seen in this store.
       "I think I'll deal..." Samantha started heading for the door leading to the main storefront, Todd followed behind. His mind racing with a thousand questions. 
      " Hey Samanth-", Todd started
       "Just 'Sam' is fine", she interrupted
       "Sam then...thanks for coming back...you know?"     
       "Don't sweat it. What's your one question?" Sam already had one foot out the door. Head poking in the storefront still.
       "What?"
       "This is the part where as I'm leaving you say 'I just have one question'. Isn't there something you're burning to ask?". Todd couldn't tell if she had done this before or if she had just  analyzed narrative tropes as much as he had. But there was something in that introspection that made him laugh. It felt good to laugh.
        "I guess....Why do you do this?" Todd asked.
        Sam wasn't so cheeky anymore. She opened her bag of chips abruptly. "Everybody has their personal demons to fight. This is how I fight mine."
        The answer to his one question gave birth to many others. Before he could give words to one of them, she was gone. 
            ]]> ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It calls my name



Day after day



The static calls my name.


        Cold cut to a man in his early to mid 20's staring blankly at an industrial trash compactor in a musty storage room. Its jaws mechanically eat the bit of trash that it has been fed. The man stares hypnotically, as if the mesmerizing gaze of the machine has answers that he has yet been given.

"I mean....it could easily look like an accident."

       The man reaches a hand out and touches the cold steal. The gnashing of the jaws grows louder and louder. 

"Hey...." A faint voice in the distance doesn't reach the man
        
        He lifts his hand from the machine, as if it his hand were burning. He turns from the machine and tears at his hair. 

"Hey..." The voice tries again, a little more assertive this time

        He chances a look back at the machine. Its continued chomping grows louder and louder. His eyes widen, once again mesmerized, he walks toward the machine.

"I bet it would only hurt...for a second or two"

His hand drifts toward the embrace of the cold steel

"HEY!"
______________________________________________________________________


        The man comes to his senses. Standing behind the counter of a convenience store, his familiar surroundings are jarring at first. He looks across the counter to his customer. A girl about a head and a half shorter than he. Pixie cut and blond hair, clearly dyed...poorly with skeletal leggings and a lolita skirt. She's not over the top but she still sticks out like a sore thumb amidst the 2am crowd. 
        "Oh, I'm sorry"
          He was halfway through bagging her 2 energy drinks, a family sized bag of potato chips and a cheap pack of cigarettes when he started to wonder how long he had zoned out for. After all, this wasn't the first time, but his daydreaming was getting worse. 
          Daydreaming. He had to chuckle. Who could give him a hard time for daydreaming when the rest of the world was sleeping?
          "Receipt in the bag alright?" He asked, his fake customer service smile restapled to his face. 
          "That'll be alright". She stood there a moment longer staring him blankly in the face, not reciprocating the smile. In fact, it seemed that this girl's frown was probably the only expression her face had ever known.
          "Don't be so stingy" she said suddenly.
          "I...sorry?" He asked, dumbfounded. Where did that come from?
          "My change?"
          He reopened the register. How long was he away? He shuffled the till for coins, having to open a new roll of pennies to get her exact change out. 
         He handed her a couple of beat up bills and hodgepodge of coins.
         But she didn't look at his hand. Just continued looking at his face. The plastic smile was fading pretty quickly. Clearly it didn't invite a friendly atmosphere.
        "Are you okay?" she interupted the uncomfortable eye contact.
        This was the last thing he expected to hear. These fantasies were personal. Never intended to be read from his tone or expression. Something that, until now, he thought he hid pretty well.
       His hand jerked back at the question, fumbling a few loose coins. She bent to her knees to pick them up. 
       "Look, it's not my business. But it could be if you need it to be." She said monotone. On paper, her words would have sounded genuine and caring. But her voice was dull and dreary. As if she was still going through the motions of a customer service transaction.
       "You don't have to say anything. Just don't do anything stupid alright? I'm sure a lot of people care about you". She took her groceries and change and toward the door.
        "Last chance". She said, looking back.
        "Are you..." He trailed off for a moment searching for the words. 
         The girl's eyebrows perked up. "Am I?"
        The perfect words did not fall out of his mouth. In fact, he was sure that his brain picked at random the worst words he could possibly say and then they fell out of his mouth in that order.
        "Always this weird?"
        
        The uncomfortable silence from before was missed like an old friend. He, however was proven wrong, in that the girl did indeed know another expression than apathy. Apathy was quickly replaced with anger.
        "frack you prick!" She threw one of her canned drinks at him, missing and hitting the display behind him. The drink began to spew a sticky, carbonated mess all over him and the floor. The girl opened the door, cigarette already lit and walking up the road.
       He started toward the custodial closet where the mop lived. The quiet buzzing of the freezers and florecent fixtures overtook the air. 
      "You really know how to make friends, don't you Todd?"
___________________________________________________________________________

     The night droned on. He couldn't stop thinking about that exchange. Come on, Todd. "'Are you always this weird?'. Like you're doing much better than she is. At least she tried. You push anyone away. Friend, family, and apparently complete strangers. Who are you going to have left when all you do pull away?"
     He rested the mop in the corner of the wall. He walked across the room and opened the door to the storage room. He pinched himself, he squeaked at the hint of pain.
    "This time.. it's for real". He locked the door behind him. 
     Todd wondered how well soundproofed the room was. If there was a fire marshall code against having completely soundproofed rooms in commercial buildings. There probably were. He wondered if people would be able to hear him, or if he could keep quiet through the whole procedure. Probably not, death is usually pretty loud 
      "-and let's face it Todd, you could hardly handle pinching yourself. You're gonna bite your tongue all the way to the other side?"
      His heart had weight that he had never noticed. Like a ball and chain. It suddenly felt like someone was gripping his throat, squeezing. He could hardly breathe as unwanted images of his mangled body flashed through his head.
      These images were overpowered by the idea that nobody would care. Nobody would notice that he was gone. The only mark on the world that Todd will make will be a stain on the wall and an obituary in some recyclable paper. His parents will cut out the article and put it in a scrapbook. His ex will drink a glass of wine and think about him for a day to get over it.

"Just fracking do it" repeated a voice in the back of his head.

He flipped the switch.

      The chomping was slow to start, gentle. But if he jumped in now, the process would be more painful. 

       The door handle behind him jiggled furiously. Somebody started pounding on the door.
       "Hello?" A muffled, but familiar voice met Todd's ears. I guess the room isn't soundproof.
        More pounding on the door. The machine grew louder, building up more steam with each passing second.
       "Please let me in, don't do this". Alternating between the door handle and pounding.
       Todd thought of the things he could say...things that would just come out wrong again. 
        The thuds became louder, it sounded like somebody was forcing there entire weight into the door now. 
       "It was 'Todd', right?" A few more thuds to the door. "You have to have something you want to see! Something worth hanging around for!". The words became desperate.
       Todd considered unlocking the door. But what good would that do? After all, he didn't have an answer to any of those questions. Nothing he wanted to see. Nothing worth hanging around for. 
        "God damn it! God damn it!" The thuds stopped. Maybe she reasoned Todd wasn't in there.
        Todd turned away from the commotion outside the door. That absolutely sounded like the girl from earlier. How did she know? How did she know all of this was happening? Were his suicidal thoughts so obviously painted on his expression?
       Curiosity delayed Todd for a few moments.

"Just jump into the compactor...make it easy on yourself"
        
          Todd's intention was just that. One more touch of cold steel was the last thing he intended to feel before oblivion. 

        Something finally overpowered the sound of gnawing metal. Gunshots. Two....Three... The door flung wildly open while the outside door handle had been shot clean off. It was the girl from before. Two archaic revolvers staring him clean in the face. The girl's face was noticeably different from before. The expression had shifted so much that Todd almost didn't believe it was the same girl. 
        "So what, she's going to stop me from killing myself by murdering me?" Todd thought. He would have preferred to die on his terms, but whatever works.
       "Just hurry up and do it" Todd said. 
       "Reveal yourself" she said, guns still raised.
       "I....I'm sorry?" Todd was pretty exposed. Unless she was asking....? "No. No Todd, that's dumb."
       She took another step closer, furrowed brow and piercing eyes. "I won't ask again!"




      Todd's shadow began to spread. Over taking the walls and shrouding both Todd and the girl in darkness. Todd felt a cold sensation emenating from his heart. He felt depressed before. He was hopeless now. This...This was what Todd felt awaited him if he continued living. Emptiness. True emptiness. True static. The static consumed Todd. He laid on the floor.
      A laugh pierced the silence of the room. "That...that doesn't sound human", it was an odd thought to have, but somehow Todd knew it to be true.
     In the distance of the shadows Todd heard gunshots. "She's still here".
     Todd lethargically climbed to his feet and toward the sound. He could faintly make out two figures. One significantly larger, faster, than the other.

     The handled herself with grace. Not wasting a movement or gesture. This was not a fight as he would have envisioned. There were no flips, no gun spinning, no unnecessary taunting or showing off. This was brutal combat between two forces that wanted the other dead. 

      Todd sat and watched. He could only get in the way of the girl, and who's to say that she's really the good guy?
      "She tried to stop you from killing yourself Todd. Whether you wanted her to or not, that should tell you who the good guy is."
       It had been a while since Todd thought about somebody on that level. To think about somebody in a purely positive light. If only for a moment, it felt like the cold radiating from within was being thawed.
       
      The girl took a shot, and winged the dark figure, now fully exposing himself. It looked to be a larger amalgamation of a human. Eyes empty and white. Teeth like needles. It seemed so familiar to Todd. 
      It cried out in pain "You bitch!". The creature didn't spare a moment, dodging additional shots and heading straight for the girl. She dropped a gun to draw a knife from her boot, but was not quick enough. The creature pinned her down. A sinister, satisfactory smiled etched across his face.
      "You're just a babe in the woods, aren't you?" A third, arm-like appendage erupted for the creature's chest forcing its way into the girls chest.
      "I'll take care of you first". And then finish the job with the boy." It let out a laugh again "You'll be together soon, pet".

      Todd snapped into focus. He never had plans of taking anybody else down with him. He ran toward the creature, still pinning down the girl 
      "Hey!" Todd yelled. The creature looked up.
      "Don't worry Todd, I'm just finishing up here. We can meet in the trash compactor in a minute"
      "Let her go, I'll go with you okay?" Todd pleaded. "Just let her go, I don't want my decisions to hurt anyone else....That's why I was doing this to begin with."

     The creature chuckled "Todd, are you still under the impression that you're in control of your own life? That any of this was ever your decision?"
      Todd was confused. Moreso than before.
     "The truth is Todd, you couldn't make a decision for yourself if you tried. That's why I found you. That's why I built up this solution in your head as being the one and only. Because if it was up to you, you would have never done anything for yourself." It sounded so proud. "Look how long it took you to get to this point? You've been eye-fracking that machine for months now, haven't you? Never doing, always dreaming. Dreaming of the static."

The girl let out a scream, she was growing red in the face. Tears streaming down her face. Whatever was happening, she was fighting it, and it hurt.

     "Now do what you've always done Todd. Sit quietly and let this happen so that we can get back to business. I only have three arms to work with." The creature'ss focus shifted back to the girl, who's struggling body was growing limp, red face growing pale.
     
      Todd noticed the revolver at his feet. He had never fired a gun before, and he wasn't sure how a revolver worked. He picked up the gun and walked toward the creature.

      "I'm a little busy now Todd-", the creature looked up at Todd, "-...What do you think you're doing Todd?"
     The girl's eyes were barely open "Do it", she whispered.
      "Todd listen to me!", the creature was begging, "I was doing this for you. I gave you a mission. I gave you closure. I was giving you meaning. Can you really go back to that uncertainty? Can you really go back to that empty life?"
      He squeezed the trigger. The creature's head distorted and he fell to the floor. The girl shot up gasping desperately for air, no marks where the creature was tearing at her.
      As she began to catch her breath she looked up at Todd, still holding the gun. 
      "I'm proud of you Todd", she said, rising to her feet.


       The shadows began to dissolve from the walls, as the creature's corpse did the same. 
       "I really don't understand what just happened", Todd said blankly. 
       "That was a demon. A personal demon.", the girl said, returning to her usual monotone.
       "A personal demon? Where do they come from?" Todd asked.
        "...Personal demon. 'Personal'. Demon. They come from humans. They're bred by insecurities, fears, regrets, sorrow. I've been hunting them for years, and your's has been festering for quite some time I'd guess." The girl spat on the barrel of her gun and helped herself to a spare hanging uniform to clean her gun with. 
        "I....I can't even-", Todd was overwhelmed with information. A lot was coming at him fast.
        "You can't even? You and most of this generation", the girl said, not even looking up from her guns as she spat once again trying to get a smudge out. "I'm Samantha by the way. Nice to meet you Todd."
        "I...oh yeah. Thank you for saving me...how did you know-"
        "Know that you were possessed? When you've been doing this a while, you learn to read the signs." Samantha said plainly, "It's hard to sit idly by when you know that they're out there. Sometimes you can help people just by talking them through these their demons. But other times it gets pretty nasty. They can start to hurt others too, people close to their hosts.".
        Samantha holstered her guns. Not quite satisfied with the job she had done cleaning her guns, but figuring that it had to do. She helped herself to a bag of the chips she bought early that were boxed in bulk in the room.
       "I'll just assume these are on the house. Are we square?" She asked, with a faint smile on her face. The first genuine grin Todd had seen in this store.
       "I think I'll deal..." Samantha started heading for the door leading to the main storefront, Todd followed behind. His mind racing with a thousand questions. 
      " Hey Samanth-", Todd started
       "Just 'Sam' is fine", she interrupted
       "Sam then...thanks for coming back...you know?"     
       "Don't sweat it. What's your one question?" Sam already had one foot out the door. Head poking in the storefront still.
       "What?"
       "This is the part where as I'm leaving you say 'I just have one question'. Isn't there something you're burning to ask?". Todd couldn't tell if she had done this before or if she had just  analyzed narrative tropes as much as he had. But there was something in that introspection that made him laugh. It felt good to laugh.
        "I guess....Why do you do this?" Todd asked.
        Sam wasn't so cheeky anymore. She opened her bag of chips abruptly. "Everybody has their personal demons to fight. This is how I fight mine."
        The answer to his one question gave birth to many others. Before he could give words to one of them, she was gone. 
            ]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-164.html Sat, 23 May 2015 00:20:30 +0000 kuponut]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-164.html I am a succession of people
Strung together by memory
When the string breaks
The beads
Scatter]]> I am a succession of people
Strung together by memory
When the string breaks
The beads
Scatter]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-162.html Tue, 14 Oct 2014 00:19:57 +0000 Nux]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-162.html lying in a stagnant pool of the most repressive of inhibitions, 
you lose sight of the hope you once had. 
The bright lights in your dreams, 
all your ingenious schemes 
to win have grown dimmer and dimmer 
until a glimmer is all it seems
to be of what's to come, 
of what's to be done.

Times like these are worse than dying, 
when each breath gets less and less satisfying. 
As the realization sinks in, you spend your days sighing 
about how you continue to crawl instead of flying. 
You know your rightful place but spend each day lying 
about how you're doing your best to improve, 
how you're trying.

"Trying" is defeat. "Doing" is victory. 
The first doesn't go down in history, 
the latter is constantly decorated in glory. 
Gasping for air that seems to be there less and less, 
you sink lower and lower towards your demise. 
The onlookers point and the onlookers stare, 
themselves secretly hoping to be surprised 
but they've surmised that 
you will continue to crawl, to continue to fall. 
An ascent from these depths 
is impossible without taking the first step.

Rise! Rise to your full potential. 
You know you have everything essential to succeed. 
Your accomplishments will supersede 
your cumulative failures at alarming speeds 
while those who called you a bad seed 
will watch in awe at your astonishing deeds. 
Realization strikes; they must follow your lead. 
You're exactly what this world needs and more. 
It's what you were born for.

This truth is hard to swallow 
because it is much easier to wallow 
in doubt, self pity, and remorse. 
It is the challenge and responsibility of every champion
to push aside the negativity and seek developmental recourse. 
Of course, this is much easier said than done; 
the force required to cultivate and run 
is great in scope and equal to none.

You're on land now and will face a great demand 
for amends from people whom you've hurt during your descent. 
Relieve yourself from these shackles and chains. 
There is no point in wracking your brain, 
still clinging on to the soul-wringing train 
of thoughts intent on destroying 
all the goals you have fought so hard for. 
Transcend the pity and the shuns. 
Let your most loved ones know 
that you will continue to ascend.

Fight! Fight against the last of your foes. 
Take flight and push your mind past all limits; 
you're so close! 
Nobody knows your struggle like you do. 
Nobody shows you the path that you must push through. 
Believe in belief and bid adieu to your grief, 
piled high like the mountains fading away behind you.

The beginning of the end 
of your journey has started. 
For this magnificent climb 
you will soon be rewarded. 
Know that "no" is no longer a known word in your vocabulary. 
The burden of success beyond your wildest dreams is all that you carry. 
Above and beyond anyone's expectations, 
you parry any and all attacks with ease; 
you've found your sanctuary.

Ascension is your destiny. 
Without it, you can't rest in peace. 
To invest in these words is the recipe 
for a fulfilling and meaningful life; 
you can put your trust in me.

~Reino Sammeta, 11/11/12]]> lying in a stagnant pool of the most repressive of inhibitions, 
you lose sight of the hope you once had. 
The bright lights in your dreams, 
all your ingenious schemes 
to win have grown dimmer and dimmer 
until a glimmer is all it seems
to be of what's to come, 
of what's to be done.

Times like these are worse than dying, 
when each breath gets less and less satisfying. 
As the realization sinks in, you spend your days sighing 
about how you continue to crawl instead of flying. 
You know your rightful place but spend each day lying 
about how you're doing your best to improve, 
how you're trying.

"Trying" is defeat. "Doing" is victory. 
The first doesn't go down in history, 
the latter is constantly decorated in glory. 
Gasping for air that seems to be there less and less, 
you sink lower and lower towards your demise. 
The onlookers point and the onlookers stare, 
themselves secretly hoping to be surprised 
but they've surmised that 
you will continue to crawl, to continue to fall. 
An ascent from these depths 
is impossible without taking the first step.

Rise! Rise to your full potential. 
You know you have everything essential to succeed. 
Your accomplishments will supersede 
your cumulative failures at alarming speeds 
while those who called you a bad seed 
will watch in awe at your astonishing deeds. 
Realization strikes; they must follow your lead. 
You're exactly what this world needs and more. 
It's what you were born for.

This truth is hard to swallow 
because it is much easier to wallow 
in doubt, self pity, and remorse. 
It is the challenge and responsibility of every champion
to push aside the negativity and seek developmental recourse. 
Of course, this is much easier said than done; 
the force required to cultivate and run 
is great in scope and equal to none.

You're on land now and will face a great demand 
for amends from people whom you've hurt during your descent. 
Relieve yourself from these shackles and chains. 
There is no point in wracking your brain, 
still clinging on to the soul-wringing train 
of thoughts intent on destroying 
all the goals you have fought so hard for. 
Transcend the pity and the shuns. 
Let your most loved ones know 
that you will continue to ascend.

Fight! Fight against the last of your foes. 
Take flight and push your mind past all limits; 
you're so close! 
Nobody knows your struggle like you do. 
Nobody shows you the path that you must push through. 
Believe in belief and bid adieu to your grief, 
piled high like the mountains fading away behind you.

The beginning of the end 
of your journey has started. 
For this magnificent climb 
you will soon be rewarded. 
Know that "no" is no longer a known word in your vocabulary. 
The burden of success beyond your wildest dreams is all that you carry. 
Above and beyond anyone's expectations, 
you parry any and all attacks with ease; 
you've found your sanctuary.

Ascension is your destiny. 
Without it, you can't rest in peace. 
To invest in these words is the recipe 
for a fulfilling and meaningful life; 
you can put your trust in me.

~Reino Sammeta, 11/11/12]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-159.html Tue, 22 Nov 2011 13:35:16 +0000 kuponut]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-159.html
Everybody's waiting on a day to make their days
And till then, all they've got is small talk to say
But it's not going to happen just like that
The times of your life don't just fall into your lap
You've got to run, don't walk
You've got to scream, don't talk
And this microphone is a f***ing joke
Because if anybody listened I'd never make a sound
Because look at me, all in all
I'm angry at the world and powerless to make it change
Nonetheless, I'd do my best until my dying day
To try not to forget- the world and all its pearls are just a game we play
I'd close my eyes and try to make it all go away
But here it stays

I used to say "what if?" and "could have" and think back to the past
But I don't live there anymore
And sometimes I wonder why I was ever even born into
A world that's torn between colors and numbers and keeping scores
The world doesn't always make sense of the pain it brings
Clouds don't always come wrapped in silver lines
And lemons don't always make good lemonade
If the was a price to be paid
I'd pay, I'd pay, to make it all go away
And I'm angry at the world and powerless to make it change
Nonetheless I'd do my best until my dying day
To try not to forget- the world and all its pearls are just a game we play
I'd close my eyes and try to make it all go away
But here it stays

If I could, then I would, just stay locked up in my room
Until I figured out the direction I want to take my life in
And the sun creeps from behind my curtains
As if to wake me when I'm certain
But I don't really know
I've never really known
I've never really felt normal
And I've never really been comfortable in my own skin
After all we're just skin wrapped around bone and soul
But I guess I get what I get
In this world where I just can't win
and though it's a joke, they'll bury me with this microphone
Because I don't live there anymore
And I'm angry at the world and powerless to make it change
Nonetheless I'd do my best until my dying day
To try not to forget- the world and all its pearls are just a game we play
I'd close my eyes and try to make it all go away
But here it stays
After all we're just skin wrapped around bone and soul
But I guess I get what I get
In this world where I just can't win
But I don't live there anymore.]]>
Everybody's waiting on a day to make their days
And till then, all they've got is small talk to say
But it's not going to happen just like that
The times of your life don't just fall into your lap
You've got to run, don't walk
You've got to scream, don't talk
And this microphone is a f***ing joke
Because if anybody listened I'd never make a sound
Because look at me, all in all
I'm angry at the world and powerless to make it change
Nonetheless, I'd do my best until my dying day
To try not to forget- the world and all its pearls are just a game we play
I'd close my eyes and try to make it all go away
But here it stays

I used to say "what if?" and "could have" and think back to the past
But I don't live there anymore
And sometimes I wonder why I was ever even born into
A world that's torn between colors and numbers and keeping scores
The world doesn't always make sense of the pain it brings
Clouds don't always come wrapped in silver lines
And lemons don't always make good lemonade
If the was a price to be paid
I'd pay, I'd pay, to make it all go away
And I'm angry at the world and powerless to make it change
Nonetheless I'd do my best until my dying day
To try not to forget- the world and all its pearls are just a game we play
I'd close my eyes and try to make it all go away
But here it stays

If I could, then I would, just stay locked up in my room
Until I figured out the direction I want to take my life in
And the sun creeps from behind my curtains
As if to wake me when I'm certain
But I don't really know
I've never really known
I've never really felt normal
And I've never really been comfortable in my own skin
After all we're just skin wrapped around bone and soul
But I guess I get what I get
In this world where I just can't win
and though it's a joke, they'll bury me with this microphone
Because I don't live there anymore
And I'm angry at the world and powerless to make it change
Nonetheless I'd do my best until my dying day
To try not to forget- the world and all its pearls are just a game we play
I'd close my eyes and try to make it all go away
But here it stays
After all we're just skin wrapped around bone and soul
But I guess I get what I get
In this world where I just can't win
But I don't live there anymore.]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-134.html Sun, 21 Jun 2009 09:16:47 +0000 Toriban]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-134.html
Cherub talks to a horse named after a Scandinavian Cain-spawned monster. A lot. And he doesn't make much sense. Probably the blood loss. Shame he doesn't show up again in person until the Epilogue.

Wow, it looks so much more insignificant when it's all stretched out on here. Ummmm, just imagine paperback sized pages and it'll all be fine.

A whopping 763 words in this chapter. That's, what, like 1/90th of a Robert Jordan novel? w00t!




Prologue

"So, Grendel, a puzzling matter is it not?" Cherub looked down the hill at what would one day be a monastery of the Heiho faith. Now, though, it was little more than piles of wood and stone. “One thousand years have I lived, my friend. Well, nine hundred and seventy-three anyway. I have been cursed with this body, with this power.”

“I have looked back and seen the death of the Old World, watched the origin of the one we know now, gazed forward at the many ways that could all end. I've seen the birth of kings, the death of princes, and the crowning of peasants.” Frowning, he pushed against the ground with his palms, adjusting his position. He lifted his legs into the air, wincing in pain as he realized his injured left leg refused to move. Instead, he lifted the leg with his hands and twisted sharply on his tail bone to face Grendel before gently placing it on the ground again.

“Fire, famine, flood. Earthquakes, drought, plague. Rebellion, revolution, civil war. I can see when they have happened, where they may happen, how they may result, but their origins elude me. Time is elusive and the slightest change may avert the greatest disasters. In a way, it is as though I can see a great lake, but never the rain that falls into it and forces it to ripple.”

Grendel responded, as she usually did, with a small snort then moved towards the shade of a tree. She stared intently at an apple hanging from it for several seconds before diverting her attention back to her master seated on the hill.

Cherub let out a sigh. “Yes, yes. I know you've heard this rant before. Or have you? Have I said such things since the last Grendel? I must have gone through a hundred horses such as you in the past few lifetimes.” He let out a deeper sigh as he leaned back to lay down on the coarse grass. “The point, Grendel, is that in two decades this location will be the origin of something awkward. An event that I can see, but only partially. It is not at all like the lake or the rain, but more like a torrent or waterfall. Visible, yet not. Inevitable, but malleable.”

The sun changed position, then disappeared from the sky, then rose again. All the while, Cherub lay and thought of what was to come, focusing on the truths and half-truths and possibilities. “What is my role in all this?” he finally said to the red streaks of light in the sky. “Do I even have one? Am I only to be a record keeper all my days? Why else would my body never age and my wounds seal so quickly if I was not truly the lore keeper of the gods?”

At this last spoken thought he reached his left arm down to touch the leg that kept him from moving. There was pain at the touch, though not as much as the night before. He would still be unable to use it for quite some time, if it would even heal at all. “Can I recover from even this? I've never sustained injury quite like it.”

“Too many questions, too many variables, too many possibilities. My mind cannot account for all of them. The weeping maiden. The three swords, one of justice, one of loyalty, and one who straddles the gray line between light and dark. The black prince, the lost soul, the cold destroyer. The quickener of blades. The traitor. The false queen. The horned man. Others come and go as the waters flow, but these remain the same. Consistent.”

Letting out a strained grunt as he lifted himself to sitting position, he fumbled at his right side for the object that had caused the pain in his leg. He held it up to the sky, studying the pattern the dried blood had made. “But out of all the questions, only two matter right this minute. The first,” he said as he looked around the empty hill, “where is my horse?” He let out a quick series of clicking noises and within minutes Grendel was atop the hill once more. “The second is much more difficult to answer.” Dropping his left femur on the grass once again, he stared at the horse intently, as if expecting an answer to the question that would follow. “How am I going to mount the damned thing?"]]>
Cherub talks to a horse named after a Scandinavian Cain-spawned monster. A lot. And he doesn't make much sense. Probably the blood loss. Shame he doesn't show up again in person until the Epilogue.

Wow, it looks so much more insignificant when it's all stretched out on here. Ummmm, just imagine paperback sized pages and it'll all be fine.

A whopping 763 words in this chapter. That's, what, like 1/90th of a Robert Jordan novel? w00t!




Prologue

"So, Grendel, a puzzling matter is it not?" Cherub looked down the hill at what would one day be a monastery of the Heiho faith. Now, though, it was little more than piles of wood and stone. “One thousand years have I lived, my friend. Well, nine hundred and seventy-three anyway. I have been cursed with this body, with this power.”

“I have looked back and seen the death of the Old World, watched the origin of the one we know now, gazed forward at the many ways that could all end. I've seen the birth of kings, the death of princes, and the crowning of peasants.” Frowning, he pushed against the ground with his palms, adjusting his position. He lifted his legs into the air, wincing in pain as he realized his injured left leg refused to move. Instead, he lifted the leg with his hands and twisted sharply on his tail bone to face Grendel before gently placing it on the ground again.

“Fire, famine, flood. Earthquakes, drought, plague. Rebellion, revolution, civil war. I can see when they have happened, where they may happen, how they may result, but their origins elude me. Time is elusive and the slightest change may avert the greatest disasters. In a way, it is as though I can see a great lake, but never the rain that falls into it and forces it to ripple.”

Grendel responded, as she usually did, with a small snort then moved towards the shade of a tree. She stared intently at an apple hanging from it for several seconds before diverting her attention back to her master seated on the hill.

Cherub let out a sigh. “Yes, yes. I know you've heard this rant before. Or have you? Have I said such things since the last Grendel? I must have gone through a hundred horses such as you in the past few lifetimes.” He let out a deeper sigh as he leaned back to lay down on the coarse grass. “The point, Grendel, is that in two decades this location will be the origin of something awkward. An event that I can see, but only partially. It is not at all like the lake or the rain, but more like a torrent or waterfall. Visible, yet not. Inevitable, but malleable.”

The sun changed position, then disappeared from the sky, then rose again. All the while, Cherub lay and thought of what was to come, focusing on the truths and half-truths and possibilities. “What is my role in all this?” he finally said to the red streaks of light in the sky. “Do I even have one? Am I only to be a record keeper all my days? Why else would my body never age and my wounds seal so quickly if I was not truly the lore keeper of the gods?”

At this last spoken thought he reached his left arm down to touch the leg that kept him from moving. There was pain at the touch, though not as much as the night before. He would still be unable to use it for quite some time, if it would even heal at all. “Can I recover from even this? I've never sustained injury quite like it.”

“Too many questions, too many variables, too many possibilities. My mind cannot account for all of them. The weeping maiden. The three swords, one of justice, one of loyalty, and one who straddles the gray line between light and dark. The black prince, the lost soul, the cold destroyer. The quickener of blades. The traitor. The false queen. The horned man. Others come and go as the waters flow, but these remain the same. Consistent.”

Letting out a strained grunt as he lifted himself to sitting position, he fumbled at his right side for the object that had caused the pain in his leg. He held it up to the sky, studying the pattern the dried blood had made. “But out of all the questions, only two matter right this minute. The first,” he said as he looked around the empty hill, “where is my horse?” He let out a quick series of clicking noises and within minutes Grendel was atop the hill once more. “The second is much more difficult to answer.” Dropping his left femur on the grass once again, he stared at the horse intently, as if expecting an answer to the question that would follow. “How am I going to mount the damned thing?"]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-11.html Mon, 21 Nov 2005 02:18:26 +0000 Nux]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-11.html and the skies are gray.
It's another evening
of a gloomy day.

It was bright and sunny
the day before,
When I walked outside
and couldn't want more.

Now I try to take a walk
and the rain drenches me.
What happened to the sky,
why is it so cloudy?

I wish that it was sunny,
that the sky would go back to blue,
but that wish is pretty funny,
'cause it'll take a while to come true.

So in the meantime, why not look,
for the good side of this.
There definately must be something
that I've skipped over and missed.

Rainy days are gray,
but why must gray be bad?
Maybe gray represents peace,
the calm that we all once had.

Maybe rain is a reminder,
for all of us today.
Snap back to reality,
before you end up in dismay.

Life isn't always sunny,
with a perfectly blue sky.
There are occasional rainstorms,
that often make me cry.

But after the storm passes,
I stand up and see,
that the unpleasant rainstorm,
only came to help me.

Because I learn a lesson,
one that we can learn from mice,
That when I find out the error,
I won't make the same mistake twice.

So there is a lesson,
that I can learn from rain:
Avoid making the same mistake twice,
so that next time you avoid the pain.]]> and the skies are gray.
It's another evening
of a gloomy day.

It was bright and sunny
the day before,
When I walked outside
and couldn't want more.

Now I try to take a walk
and the rain drenches me.
What happened to the sky,
why is it so cloudy?

I wish that it was sunny,
that the sky would go back to blue,
but that wish is pretty funny,
'cause it'll take a while to come true.

So in the meantime, why not look,
for the good side of this.
There definately must be something
that I've skipped over and missed.

Rainy days are gray,
but why must gray be bad?
Maybe gray represents peace,
the calm that we all once had.

Maybe rain is a reminder,
for all of us today.
Snap back to reality,
before you end up in dismay.

Life isn't always sunny,
with a perfectly blue sky.
There are occasional rainstorms,
that often make me cry.

But after the storm passes,
I stand up and see,
that the unpleasant rainstorm,
only came to help me.

Because I learn a lesson,
one that we can learn from mice,
That when I find out the error,
I won't make the same mistake twice.

So there is a lesson,
that I can learn from rain:
Avoid making the same mistake twice,
so that next time you avoid the pain.]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-12.html Fri, 18 Nov 2005 21:05:12 +0000 kuponut]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-12.html
what was that thought?
i thought i thought?
though my thoughts are gone.
i still remember the thought.
but i cant reach it.
what happened to my family?
what do you look like mom?
what do you look like dad?
little,big,brother,sister i might have had?
why am i cursed with this.
this thing on my arm?
my past life is shrouded in mist.
i cant remember anything
but i know what i have gained.

sucks,yeah i know but i got really bored in here(im in my mom's classroom)]]>
what was that thought?
i thought i thought?
though my thoughts are gone.
i still remember the thought.
but i cant reach it.
what happened to my family?
what do you look like mom?
what do you look like dad?
little,big,brother,sister i might have had?
why am i cursed with this.
this thing on my arm?
my past life is shrouded in mist.
i cant remember anything
but i know what i have gained.

sucks,yeah i know but i got really bored in here(im in my mom's classroom)]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-10.html Thu, 17 Nov 2005 17:46:58 +0000 Toriban]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-10.html Vandalism of the Soul

Where are you, and why can't you be here with me?

Why won't you answer me when I try to reach you?

I know what they say, but it can't be true,

I know you can't really be gone


We've lived so long, worked so hard,

To make our dreams a reality,

But now they say that its all been wasted,

But it's impossible that you're really gone


They showed me that thing,

Horrid and grotesque, a cold lifeless puppet,

They tried to tell me that its you,

But that's impossible, because you're not really gone


They made it to look like you,

But they left out the most important detail,

The spark of life, your exuberance, that which made you beautiful,

And that proves that you're not really gone


But the horrid puppet, the faux marrionette of death,

Makes me question if it is true,

It makes me wonder if they're truly lying,

When they say that you're really gone


No! That can't be so! It must be a lie,

You'll walk in the door this very minute,

You'll show them what fools they are,

To think that you're really gone


They still say what they say, and I'm inclined to agree,

You haven't come back yet, and it's been so very long that,

I've come to a conclusion that I fought from the start.

The fact that you may really be gone


As it was where you were still here,

Life is only good when you are around,

It was simple, quick and clean, done with no remorse,

And it seems that finally I'm really gone]]> Vandalism of the Soul

Where are you, and why can't you be here with me?

Why won't you answer me when I try to reach you?

I know what they say, but it can't be true,

I know you can't really be gone


We've lived so long, worked so hard,

To make our dreams a reality,

But now they say that its all been wasted,

But it's impossible that you're really gone


They showed me that thing,

Horrid and grotesque, a cold lifeless puppet,

They tried to tell me that its you,

But that's impossible, because you're not really gone


They made it to look like you,

But they left out the most important detail,

The spark of life, your exuberance, that which made you beautiful,

And that proves that you're not really gone


But the horrid puppet, the faux marrionette of death,

Makes me question if it is true,

It makes me wonder if they're truly lying,

When they say that you're really gone


No! That can't be so! It must be a lie,

You'll walk in the door this very minute,

You'll show them what fools they are,

To think that you're really gone


They still say what they say, and I'm inclined to agree,

You haven't come back yet, and it's been so very long that,

I've come to a conclusion that I fought from the start.

The fact that you may really be gone


As it was where you were still here,

Life is only good when you are around,

It was simple, quick and clean, done with no remorse,

And it seems that finally I'm really gone]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-9.html Mon, 31 Oct 2005 21:18:23 +0000 Nux]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-9.html that my angel of bliss is dead.
Now with that partially said,
I can finally sleep on my bed.

Because for days on end,
I kept trying to defend
the really stupid myth
that I had a fairy friend.

She touches me and I'm all happy.
She sleeps and my day gets crappy.
It gets so bad that I'd rather have
some person constantly slap me.

It's true that I'm really lazy,
cuz I think of life as crazy,
but if I try just a little harder next time
then just maybe my days won't be so hazy.

I can try to be me
at the best of my ability,
but being all I can be
just takes so much out of me.

I think I know what I'm doing,
I end completely in ruins.
I try to play as best as I can,
but I end up sitting out and boo-ing.

All this contemplating,
can't at all be good.
Trying to do things the best I can,
maybe someday I should.

Would I have the courage,
the strength to recieve that message,
that I possibly can't be anything in life
if I'm still living in this garbage.

I should climb out and think,
because eventually I will sink.
If I live and stay this way,
I'll surely sink before I blink.

So farewell you old world,
in which you know the old me.
Hello oh new world,
in which I'll be all I can be.

~Reino Sammeta, 1/19/05]]> that my angel of bliss is dead.
Now with that partially said,
I can finally sleep on my bed.

Because for days on end,
I kept trying to defend
the really stupid myth
that I had a fairy friend.

She touches me and I'm all happy.
She sleeps and my day gets crappy.
It gets so bad that I'd rather have
some person constantly slap me.

It's true that I'm really lazy,
cuz I think of life as crazy,
but if I try just a little harder next time
then just maybe my days won't be so hazy.

I can try to be me
at the best of my ability,
but being all I can be
just takes so much out of me.

I think I know what I'm doing,
I end completely in ruins.
I try to play as best as I can,
but I end up sitting out and boo-ing.

All this contemplating,
can't at all be good.
Trying to do things the best I can,
maybe someday I should.

Would I have the courage,
the strength to recieve that message,
that I possibly can't be anything in life
if I'm still living in this garbage.

I should climb out and think,
because eventually I will sink.
If I live and stay this way,
I'll surely sink before I blink.

So farewell you old world,
in which you know the old me.
Hello oh new world,
in which I'll be all I can be.

~Reino Sammeta, 1/19/05]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-7.html Mon, 31 Oct 2005 21:17:56 +0000 Nux]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-7.html and the minutes go by.
The hours, then the days,
finally the years, it's a lie.

Time flies so fast,
not much longer will we last.
The horrid fact that I'm trying to deny
is that like seeds, pretty soon, we'll be cast.

All over the world,
it's depressing to think,
that in a matter of years,
we'll be apart, without a link.

We spend so much time,
making acquaintances and building friendships.
In the end, what's it all for?
Will we even know the people we were friends with?

If you come to think about it,
the world is huge, no doubt about it.
We'll be here and there, pretty much everywhere,
but nowhere near each other. It doesn't fit.

Now imagine us spread out,
in many random places.
In a world filled with scorn,
and many unfamiliar faces.

I do not understand,
why things have to be this way.
But nothing's gonna change,
No matter what I say.

It seems so pointless,
living life for the moment.
Because soon the moments will pass away,
giving way only to torment.

There has to be a reason,
a reason for us to live.
To live in this world as the time goes by,
to continue to give and forgive.

We strive to help others,
We treat them like our brothers.
But why do we do the things we do?
Is this our life or is there another?

I am constantly there for others,
but am a failure to my own mother.
Why oh why can I always help others,
but cannot get my own self together?

The answer is thus,
there's no way out for us,
We live in a really cruel world,
that offers more questions than answers.

Rarely are we ever rewarded,
for all the good things we have selflessly started.
And the friendships that have eagerly begun,
might be inexistent by the time we have departed.

~Reino Sammeta, 1/24/05]]> and the minutes go by.
The hours, then the days,
finally the years, it's a lie.

Time flies so fast,
not much longer will we last.
The horrid fact that I'm trying to deny
is that like seeds, pretty soon, we'll be cast.

All over the world,
it's depressing to think,
that in a matter of years,
we'll be apart, without a link.

We spend so much time,
making acquaintances and building friendships.
In the end, what's it all for?
Will we even know the people we were friends with?

If you come to think about it,
the world is huge, no doubt about it.
We'll be here and there, pretty much everywhere,
but nowhere near each other. It doesn't fit.

Now imagine us spread out,
in many random places.
In a world filled with scorn,
and many unfamiliar faces.

I do not understand,
why things have to be this way.
But nothing's gonna change,
No matter what I say.

It seems so pointless,
living life for the moment.
Because soon the moments will pass away,
giving way only to torment.

There has to be a reason,
a reason for us to live.
To live in this world as the time goes by,
to continue to give and forgive.

We strive to help others,
We treat them like our brothers.
But why do we do the things we do?
Is this our life or is there another?

I am constantly there for others,
but am a failure to my own mother.
Why oh why can I always help others,
but cannot get my own self together?

The answer is thus,
there's no way out for us,
We live in a really cruel world,
that offers more questions than answers.

Rarely are we ever rewarded,
for all the good things we have selflessly started.
And the friendships that have eagerly begun,
might be inexistent by the time we have departed.

~Reino Sammeta, 1/24/05]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-14.html Mon, 31 Oct 2005 21:17:30 +0000 Nux]]> https://www.elementzerostudio.com/discuss/thread-14.html That feeling.
It only happens once in a while,
and it happens when you meet someone special.
You feel complete.
It feels like rose petals are flying around everywhere,
everytime a pleasant breeze blows.
In the ocean of emotions, I am floating on the top.
I feel so light I believe I can fly.
All I have to do is spread out my wings
and I'll be flying.
But I can't do it alone.
I need you there with me, because without you,
the rose petals all fall to the ground,
the pleasant breeze stops blowing,
and I start feeling heavier,
and drown to the bottom,
where only the most hated of the emotions stay.
Without you,
I will be left incomplete.

~Reino Sammeta, 3/9/05]]> That feeling.
It only happens once in a while,
and it happens when you meet someone special.
You feel complete.
It feels like rose petals are flying around everywhere,
everytime a pleasant breeze blows.
In the ocean of emotions, I am floating on the top.
I feel so light I believe I can fly.
All I have to do is spread out my wings
and I'll be flying.
But I can't do it alone.
I need you there with me, because without you,
the rose petals all fall to the ground,
the pleasant breeze stops blowing,
and I start feeling heavier,
and drown to the bottom,
where only the most hated of the emotions stay.
Without you,
I will be left incomplete.

~Reino Sammeta, 3/9/05]]>