Mon Oct 13 2014, 07:59 PM
Love the prophetic vibe of the second to last paragraph. I'm super glad you told us that he won't show up until the epilogue, because I feel like one might expect him to show up close to the climax of the major story arc. I like that it sets up a lot of questions already for the first-time reader. Well done.
Nux
EZS Writer
"Don't waste your time or time will waste you."
EZS Writer
"Don't waste your time or time will waste you."